Fine....

Have you ever asked someone how they were.. and the response is..  Fine..  but you know.. in your heart.. that Fine is not fine?  You hit the delicate line of do I probe further, or should I just leave it be.  Because if there truly was something they wanted to tell me, wouldnt they say something?  Or are they waiting for someone to inquire.  The times you hold it all together and say Fine through gritted teeth because you know if you try to open up your mouth and say anything else, the tears will start flowing and the truth will bleed out.  The secrets you are working so hard to keep inside, you know full well you are not Fine at all...  you are no where near Fine.. yet, this is all you can muster.

I saw this posted as someones status and it made me laugh.. because it was really true:

DEADLY TERMS USED BY WOMEN: 
1.FINE-This is the word women use to end an argument when they KNOW they are right and you need to shut up. 
2.NOTHING-This means SOMETHING and you should be wary. 
3.GO AHEAD-This is a dare, NOT permission. DON'T DO IT! 
4.WHATEVER-is a woman's way of saying F*YOU! 
5.THAT'S OK-She's thinking long and hard before deciding HOW and WHEN you WILL pay for your mistake...

I have been guilty of the Fine and Nothing...  and of course the Whatever..  ok and the rest of them as well.,  I do it all the time.

But its the Fine that really gets me.  When you know you arent fine, and everyone else knows you arent fine.. but its the elephant in the room.  How much do I ask, how much do I reveal.  Do most people really even want to know the depth that lies behind the Fine?  Or are they just asking out of politeness?  Kind of like Lovely weather we are having.

At the end of the day, we are all busy and consumed with our own lives and our own problems, and I know for me, I tend think, why burden someone with my problems, when I can smile, teeth clenched, and say.. .Fine.  Things are Fine, I am Fine.  Life is FINE FINE FINE.

I am trying to think back to when Fine got such a bad, negative connotation.  To me Fine is not a real answer.  Its a cop out. And yes, I am guilty of this cop out, but its still a cop out.  Its an answer to placate someone.  Its the answer you give instead of having diarrhea of the mouth and telling people what you are really feeling.

So next time you ask how I am.. how things are going..  and I say Fine..  Well they might just be that..  but chances are..   there is something lurking just behind the Fine...