G.A.C.

Yes.  That's me.  G.A.C.

What is G.A.C. you might ask..  Guilty As Charged.  I have an admission.  I have used this blog to admit a lot of  really and truly personal stuff.  I have seen the purpose of this blog to explore feelings and emotions that I was too afraid or ashamed to admit out loud.   I have always used this blog to try to get the core and the root of whom I am, and who I want to be.  I've put out there where I have been and where I am going.  I have listed my missteps (I almost wrote "mistakes", but I changed it, no mistakes.. no regrets...) and my successes.

This might be the hardest thing I have had to admit.  But I feel that I need to put it out there.  Put it in to the universe.  Throw it out, see what happens with it.  Once you admit to something, you can't take it back.  Once the words leave your lips, once your truth is out there, it cannot be stricken from the record.  It can't be taken back.  There is no erasing it.  It is there.  It exists.  For the world, for the universe to see.

Why put this out the there.  Why let this admission in to the universe?  Why should I go there?  Because I feel that admitting things, putting them in the the universe, putting them in print, on my blog, will help me to understand it.

I have been struggling with this for a while.  The thoughts that keep bubbling up to the surface.  The feelings that I keep trying to push down.  It just doesn't make any sense.  This can't be me.  Can it?  Have I secretly been holding this in?  Afraid to put it out in the universe.  Afraid for people to see the truth?  Does this admission change who I am?  How I am viewed by others?  I am sure some people will embrace it, and others will cast looks of disdain.  I am sure there will be whispers and how could she.  Is it true?

I have been struggling with it for a little bit now.  Not knowing where to go with it.  Not knowing how to process this feeling.

It's time to rip the bandaid off.  It's time to stand here, exposed.  It's time to admit to my faithful followers.  A realization.  After some soul searching.  I need to just take a deep breath.  And just let it go.  Put it out there.

Judge me as you will after the admittance.  But this is me.  This is who I am, or who I have become.

So here goes...

I

Like












COUNTRY MUSIC....


Phew..  That wasn't so bad.  But it's hard.  I got a new radio in my car, and it had a country station preprogrammed.  I have been flipping through the stations and find myself stopping more often than not.  I am particularly liking Keith Urban.  His songs are really deep and beautiful, and he isn't bad to look at.

I particularly blame this song:




He has an amazing voice, and songs that are pretty deep.  So I guess I am now "in to" Country?  I don't know.  I have always prided myself liking all types of music, but Country was an exception that I could never get my head around.  Ok, so I did listen to Kenny Rogers growing up, listening to him in our van on Sunday drives.  Singing along with my parents.  Kenny will always hold a special place in my heart.  He will always bring back fun happy memories of my childhood.  I liked Randy Travis too.  But I was never in to country.  It was never my thing.  But now.  It seems I am starting to gravitate towards it.

Judge as you want.  I won't make apologizes or hide from it.  I am going to embrace it.  I may even buy a bandana and a cowboy hat.  :)